A Journey Toward Inclusive Education

First Day at MJDS

What the kids needed from an education point of view was beginning to take shape for me in 2011.

By that point, it became clear that what we envisioned was Benji and Giulietta immersed in a regular school with a customized program so that they could work and interact alongside neurotypical peers.

I had searched far and wide for special needs schools, explored public schools, and hit barriers and limitations wherever I went.

The public school system could not commit to one-to-one support but would not allow us to hire private supports to attend school with them, citing union rules. They explained they could not offer me what I wanted.

I also didn't find any special needs schooling that met their individual needs, and we had already been through that with limited results.

As such, as I started looking at private schools, I came across Montessori Jewish Day School.

I read about Montessori and its flexible framework focused on life skills and encouraging children to problem solve and pursue learning in a less structured but effective framework. There was a lot of movement throughout the day and it wasn't limited to book learning with didactic teaching.

I contacted the head of school and inquired about the possibility of Benji and Giulietta joining the school with our own support staff accompanying them.

The head of school did not immediately reject the idea (unlike other schools I had contacted that were clearly uncomfortable with children with developmental disabilities attending their school).

She suggested that she would send a teacher to the home to meet the children and assess the viability of them becoming MJDS students.

When the teacher came to our home, Benji took her hand and held it. She was so kind and warm. She sat in our living room and spoke to us for two hours about the school and asked questions about Benji and Giulietta and their interests and needs.

We discussed a framework of the kids being integrated socially into the classroom, participating in cultural and group activities, and learning side by side, each with their own learning goals to be co-developed with the teachers and the private supports and educators that accompanied the kids.

Finally, the first day of school came. Benji and Giulietta dressed in their finest clothes and took their lunchboxes and walked to the car. Throughout the day I received incredible pictures of each child doing a learning activity, engaged and with peers surrounding them smiling. It was the first time in my life since Benji was born that I dared to dream that maybe it could be okay for the kids. I now saw a path forward that would allow me to exhale to some extent. One where they had community, they were valued, they had friends, they weren't isolated, and they could be part of society.

I realized then that the reason I felt so isolated and despondent wasn't because my kids were disabled. It was because the world didn't accept them as they were.

I had brief glimpses of what acceptance looked like, but it was on the farm and with animals. This was the first time they could be their authentic selves and it would be okay. Suddenly it wasn't only my mission; there was a village there to grow with and help us navigate the path forward. We were not alone.