Meeting Laura: A First Encounter That Changed Our Path

In 2011 we heard about the STEPs program summer camp. It was a special needs camp and I wanted to explore it to find out if it would be a good fit for the kids. I suggested that I would shadow for a day and then decide. However, I was informed that the staff at the program were well versed in navigating the teaching of disabled children. Given that my kids were medically fragile, I wasn't comfortable sending them to a camp without ensuring that the setting would be suited for them. However, at this point I had met Laura Hunter, the director of the camp, and recognized in her someone capable and with a focus on physical skills. While we didn't attend camp that summer, Benji and Giulietta started therapeutic riding at Laura's farm.

It was transformative. Every Saturday morning we drove the nearly hour to get to the farm on the outskirts of Toronto. Remarkably, Benji and Giulietta, at that time aged seven and five, were supported to mount a large horse. Benji rode "Sugar" and Giulietta rode "Goldie." Over many years the relationship with the horses grew and became a very special connection for the kids. The horses were selected based on temperament and years of training but also intuitively sensed the needs of the kids.

Their endless patience and tolerance helped Benji and Giulietta enjoy a sense of autonomy and growing confidence to sit on a horse and learn commands to navigate the arena.

In addition to the skills they learned on the horse, they also had some barn responsibilities like grooming the pony, holding the lead, and maneuvering the horse through the arena (the only time to date that either of them were entrusted to lead).

While they both had low muscle tone, sitting on the horse fostered a straight posture and a sense of confidence. Over weeks, months, and years, they gained skills, lost their fear, and developed a sense of pride and ability. It was noted that at the farm, the kids enjoyed freedom and a place where they belonged. We usually also went for a walk on the property and would bring apples and carrots to feed the horses, donkey, and other animals. It was a mental health break where Benji and Giulietta weren't outsiders and the animals didn't judge.

I was surprised and excited about the changes I was seeing in them. They were happy and learning with tangible skill development. I invited Laura to consider private sessions with the kids to build their gross motor skills. I recall the first time Laura came to our home for the hour lesson. She explained that low expectations of kids with disabilities was a form of discrimination and that my kids were capable. I had never heard that from anyone before.

She asked me what skill I wanted Benji to learn.

While he was able to learn to walk with intense MEDEK physical therapy, he never learned to crawl and he could not independently transition from different positions. For example, if he was seated or lying on the floor, he did not know how to stand up from a position on the floor.

When I said "I want Benji to learn to transition independently" (which seemed aspirational and not within the realm of possibility), she looked at me straight in the eye and said "no problem." I was cautiously optimistic but skeptical. By the end of the hour, Benji had learned to get into a four-point crawl, and after a couple more sessions he could transition from lying on the ground, to sitting, to four-point, to standing. Laura achieved in three hours what no physical therapist was able to teach Benji. It was clear to me that Laura's approach of pragmatic goals with effective practices to encourage mentally and support physically was something we needed more of.

Over the next five years, we increasingly engaged with Laura such that she spent two entire days a week overseeing an increasingly large team of educators, conceptualizing a pragmatic life skills program that was based in physical skills and empowerment. The kids spent a day at the farm learning to do barn chores and caring for horses as well as riding. During their productive day at the farm, they would also go for walks in the woods where they were encouraged to lead on the trail and to hold the leashes of Laura's exceptionally trained gentle dogs. All activities were carefully thought out with the reinforced messages of capability, autonomy, empowerment, and self-efficacy.

Laura also led a school-based program where she oversaw and directly taught the kids in the setting of Montessori Jewish Day School (MJDS). She modeled inclusion and was effective in encouraging Benji and Giulietta's classmates to understand their motor challenges. She did a workshop bringing in a large roll of paper and having the kids lie on the paper tracing out their silhouette. Then she used different colored strings to show how sensory information flowed from the limbs, got processed in the brain, and motor output flowed out. She explained that Benji and Giulietta had some challenges with the motor output but that they were otherwise the same as everyone else. This session had a major impact on the classmates, who now were less scared and confused about the non-verbal kids who needed physical support. Instead, they became curious and were eager to interact with the kids and support them and befriend them. They were no longer strange and other, just kids. The classmates' empathy and gestures of friendship were immediate.

Over time the kids all grew together as a class. Classmates signed up to take turns daily playing modified team sports like floor hockey and basketball. They cheered on Benji and Giulietta while Laura taught them how to hold a ball, a hockey stick, and to get the ball or puck in the net. We practiced in the back alley or the front walk, and at the Sunday gym skills programs that we joined, run by Laura. The kids also signed up to take turns teaching Benji and Giulietta and were encouraged to come up with their own learning goals. There was a wait list as all the kids were excited to be involved and challenged to be peer mentors where they had a stake in their learning success. Benji and Giulietta attended school trips with their attendants and as part of the class, with the full support and modeling of inclusion by the principal, the teachers, and the administration staff. They were known and loved by everyone in the school and had the true gift of meaningful integration into the school community.

The kids also attended Laura's bike skills program once a week, where Laura encouraged us to purchase adapted trikes that had a strong base of support. Laura's son Jesse, who eventually joined our team full time and worked with the kids for ten years one-to-one, met them at the bike skills program. Through this, Benji and Giulietta learned to enjoy bike riding, which they continue to do throughout the summers with adult-sized trikes. They can be independent in riding these adapted bikes, and it is part of their exercise program that they enjoy and that helps them stay fit.

In addition to the dedicated and integrated schooling led by Laura, the farm days and riding, the gym skills and bike skills program, Benji and Giulietta and their supports attended summer skills camp led by Laura, where many kids participated in gym and bike skills, group activities, and trips to the island and the farm. There was an atmosphere of empowerment and ability. All the kids had supports and worked together as a team to accomplish goals and enjoy games. At the end of every summer, we were exhilarated to see them gain so many skills and enjoy such a coordinated and integrated program. We always wished that summer wouldn't end and they could continue to thrive in this way beyond summer camp.

Over time, Laura also became program lead when we integrated a communication program and a fully comprehensive life skills program. This expanded to additional physical skills including swimming, track, and gym work. The kids saw tangible acquisition of skills. In 2015, Laura transitioned into full-time animal training and we parted ways, but the philosophy and framework she had left us as a legacy was the basis of the further expansion and evolution of Benji and Giulietta's purposeful life.